Eppler: 'Apocalypse' should be the end of 'X-Men'

Eppler: 'Apocalypse' should be the end of 'X-Men'

First, I must apologize to "Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice": you are not the worst superhero movie of the year - not even close. Compared to "X-Men: Apocalypse," it's a masterclass in nuanced, understated storytelling.

I hated "X-Men: Apocalypse" - a total waste of time and considerable talent. It's a movie that reeks of big studio focus grouping. But the real culprit may be screenwriter Simon Kinberg who loads the script with stilted dialogue, too much fan placating and a dead end story. 

The "X-Men" series has essentially completed its reboot at this point. Nearly all of the characters introduced in the first "X-Men" movie in 2000 have been re-cast with millennial stars because the actors from the older movies are, well, older now - except for Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, who makes a very brief cameo in this movie for no reason other than the studio probably demanded it. 

"X-Men: First Class" in 2011 was the highpoint for the series - introducing younger versions of key characters: Michael Fassbender as Magneto, James McAvoy as Professor Xavier, and then relatively unknown Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique. All fantastic. Oh, and you'll notice Mystique spends a lot less time looking blue and a lot more time looking like Jennifer Lawrence in this new movie. That's no accident. And her character is sounding a lot more like Katniss Everdeen from "The Hunger Games." 

As for the new cast members, they're mostly a bore - especially Sophie Turner, or Sansa "Game of Thrones" as one-note Jean Grey.

Poor Oscar Isaac gets the worst of it as the villain called Apocalypse, having to act through embarrassing make-up that looks like he wandered off the "Avatar" set. He's an ancient mutant who gets woken after thousands of years, watches some TV, gets furious at the state of the world and decides to destroy it. Seriously. That's literally what happens.  Of course, depending on what he watched, who can blame him?

So the millennial X-Men trying to figure out their new-found powers team up to stop Apocalypse and his gang. And it all goes basically nowhere. In fact, the only thing of lasting consequence in this movie is Professor X loses his hair. 

And for such an expensive movie, it looks remarkably cheap with shoddy green screen work and unimpressive effects. I've enjoyed this movie series through all its ups and downs but "Apocalypse" is so bad, I'm done.  

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